[ jesus bursts out of the tomb ] no, nO, NO I’M ALIVE I’M ALIVE I AM SO ALIVE
I’m watching Monsters Inc. with Pulp Fiction subtitles
and it’s amazing
but wait there’s more
omg and then
"Why, is your nose bigger than your dick?" OMFG so good!
yesterday while I was walking around with my friends in the city, a car full of guys yelled out “enjoy the sausage dinner” and I yelled back “can’t if you ate it all!”
Favourite Audrey Ramirez Quotes
Audrey doesn’t get NEARLY enough love. It’s Edwardian period, yet she’s a genius Hispanic engineer who wears overalls, has adorably little meaty arms, doesn’t take any crap from boys, runs a mechanic business with her father and her sister is a prize fighter.
Cool Disney female characters don’t have to be princesses, folks.
if easter and 4/20 are both today can it be called a joint holiday
Friendly reminder that for the SPN season five premier, luciferiscoming trended worldwide, and P. Diddy freaked the fuck out and thought Satanists were coming onto Twitter, so he got the tag banned and trended godishere in response.
BEE SEX IS REALLY FUNNY OKAY HEAR ME OUT
BASICALLY THE MALE BEE GOES TO THE QUEEN AND INSERTS ITS PENIS INTO THE QUEEN BEE AND THEN THEY EJACULATE AT SUCH A HIGH SPEED THAT THEIR GENITALS FUCKING EXPLODE AND ARE LEFT IN THE QUEEN FOREVER AND THE MALE BEE FALLS ON THE GROUND AND DIES
dick too bomb
YOU’RE IN AUSTRALIA
OF COURSE SPIDERS SHOULD BE FEARED
I got bitten by a white-tailed spider when i was seven. There is basically ‘no cure’ for the bite which often gets infected because of bacteria on the spiders fangs. It pretty much eats away at the flesh and its horrible. Thankfully my grandma is a seasoned aussie and put some potion she made on it and it got better. I still to this day have scar about the size of a 5 cent coin on my thigh and when you touch it there’s basically a hole in my leg from where it ate away at my flesh.
moral of the story STAY AWAY FROM AUSTRALIA. IT IS DANGEROUS AND YOU WONT SURVIVE.
He may be immortal and indestructible, but there’s no reason you cannot incapacitate him. What Harry often failed to realise is that Voldemort’s physical being is consistently his biggest downfall- so use that as his downfall. Chop that bald snaky dickbasket into a thousand thousand pieces, encase each piece in concrete, and throw some bits in the sea, bury some bits in the ground. No need to destroy him permanently- just make absolutely sure that he isn’t coming back any time soon. He might still be immortal once you’ve chopped him into bits, but as long as his brain’s fairly separated out then he won’t have the intellectual capability to use magic to accio himself back together. Problem solved. Now go attend Hogwarts (but bring a meat cleaver with you for safety).
200 notes and yet you’re the only one that has helped bless u